Oh the bad times...

It's been awhile since I wrote anything of substance or value, not because nothing's happened, but because I was hoping to be able to report better news than I have today. The long and short of it is that I got laid off Monday and have spent my week looking for work, so far to no avail.

I'm so angry and so sad at the same time. It's such a helpless feeling being let go. They gave me 2 weeks severance pay at least and were a little sad about having to lay me off, but the projects they hired me to work on fell through because of the economic collapse. Now I'm unemployed. Sucks. Luckily, I had a bit of money in the bank... enough to survive a couple of months with the help Katy's folks are chipping in. They're the only reason this isn't more stressful than it is and I can't thank them enough.

I just want to scream. I want to cry. I want to feel something besides anger suspended in a vacuum. It's such a hopeless feeling. I started sending resumes out for non-architecture jobs this morning because no one's really hiring in architecture. Almost everyone's belt is tightening. The gloomy weather doesn't help. I don't know if the weather matches my mood or my mood matches the weather, but either way, they're a stunning compliment to one another.

I don't know how far down the professional ladder I'm going to have to stoop to get a job... or if I'm going to have to jump onto another ladder. I don't mind leaving the architecture field, so much, as I mind the possibility of not getting paid enough to make payments on my student loans. What a spot to be in. I have a fresh degree but no job at the beginning of a recession... that means fresh student loan payments and no job at the beginning of a recession. Woopee!

It seems like life has become one sisyphusian task after another (pronounced \sis-eh-fis-ee-an\ or more correctly, \'si-sə-'fə-sē-ən\). Sisyphus, for those curious, was condemned by the gods to roll a rock uphill for all eternity and when the rock almost reached the top, it would fall back to the bottom. The Greeks saw that there was no more dreadful a punishment than futile and fruitless labor. Sometimes it seems that's what my life has become... futile and fruitless labor. I'm out here working just to make money. I hate money. I know there are those of you who can't imagine how someone could hate money, but if ever there was a devil, he was made of dollar signs.

But, of course, that's just the melodramatic personae in me coming out. In reality, all is not lost. I'll find a job doing something and life will go on.

I'm angry because I just lost my job due to stupid people making stupid decisions and not one person will be held accountable. I'm going to stop now because I've had to erase the last half-dozen things I've written. Too mad... seething mad... I think I'll go do a painting or something now.

I'll keep you updated.

Wish me luck, and patience, and wisdom...

...and sanity. I need some of that, too.

According to the Joes

Cliff notes to a debate

I came across this and thought it might be helpful to those of you who, like myself, were utterly confused by Sarah Palin at the VP debate. This might make it all a bit easier to process...

On race

I received this from a friend today and thought it was worth sharing.

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Obama/Biden vs. McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around?..... think about it. Would the country's collective point of view be different? Could racism be the culprit?

Ponder the following:

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Unbelievable things...

Hi all and happy Canadian Thanksgiving. Katy and I have had a really nice three-day weekend together for the holiday. The weather cleared up and the sun came out and all was good. Katy summed it up well when she said, "I love it when we have food and alcohol and time and life is good." Yep... that about sums it up for me, too. Sunday evening we were invited to have turkey dinner with some distant relatives of Katys who live not far from us here. (You might call them close distant relatives) It was nice getting to meet new people and it was really nice getting a fancy turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I had the most amazing brussel sprouts. Never thought I'd say that... but I went back for seconds and thirds on them, they were so good. Other than that, we got some cleaning done and a bit of relaxing done.

The unbelievable event I refered to in the post title, though, came earlier in the week. You all remember when Katy's computer got stolen on our way out here, right? Well the story has continued developing since then but I didn't want to say anything to jinx it. Katy received an email a few weeks ago from some random guy asking if she had ever owned a powerbook and if so had she sold it or was it stolen? He said that he and a friend were doing some social experimenting on internet classified ad pages to see if they were used to traffic stolen goods. He bought Katy's computer off a website and then tracked her down online (it's easy to find someone with so original a family name as Katy). He never asked for a thing from her except that she do something nice for someone else someday. Anyway, we were a bit skeptical until this past week when the computer arrived via Canada Post. I'm writing this blog entry right now on Katy's computer. What a random thing to happen, no? Guess her karma got stacked too heavily against her.

But all is well on the West coast. It will be nice working a four day workweek this week. Love three day weekends. Katy and I are excited that we'll be visiting Mom in SD in a few weeks... and before that we have a couple of friends staying here with us on their way through. Good times are ahead... hope you all have a great week.

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"Human beings will be happier - not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That's my utopia." -Kurt Vonnegut